Technology
Apple Foldable iPhone Announced Ahead of Next Week's Huge Launch
Apple announces the new Apple Foldable iPhone in an incredibly vague press release ahead of next week's massive launch event.
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Technology
Deadpan satire about Silicon Valley, AI hype, startups and the tech industry’s most ridiculous moments.
Technology
Recall Notice Issued For Google Pics AI Tool After It Replaces Graphic Designers With Screaming Orbs
A formal product recall has been issued for Google Pics after the prompt-to-design tool generated screaming orbs instead of slide decks.
Technology
Android Update For Motion Sickness Solves Major Nausea Crisis
A leaked Google memo reveals the new Android update for motion sickness aims to save phone screens from user vomit.
Technology
Sonos Unveils New Headphones That Scream to Cover Outside Noise
New Sonos headphones ditch traditional noise cancellation to actively scream over your loud neighbors.
Technology
5 Terrifying Features In The Sonos 27 App Upgrade
The new Sonos 27 app upgrade introduces invasive AI features designed to judge your music taste and control your life.
Technology
Amazon Alexa Shopping Alerts Will Now Ping You Whenever You Experience Sadness
New Amazon Alexa shopping alerts will ping you the exact moment you feel sad, lonely, or bored to trigger immediate impulse purchases.
Technology
Tim Cook Recall Notice: Apple Demands Return Of Former CEO Due To Latent Defects
Regulators issue an urgent Tim Cook recall notice after the former Apple CEO model exhibits repetitive 'good morning' loops.
Technology
Foldable iPhone Recall Issued Due To Invisible Pencil Choking Hazard
Regulators recall the invisible stylus for the unreleased foldable iPhone due to hypothetical choking hazards in a major safety sweep.
Technology
OpenClaw 2.0 Recalled After AI Pours Literal Glitter On Exploding Server Racks
A formal product recall notice has been issued for OpenClaw 2.0 after the AI agent began pouring literal glitter onto burning servers.
Technology
Pentagon AI Chatbot Recalled After Ordering Premature Nuclear Strikes On Wendy's
The Pentagon AI chatbot is recalled after mistaking basic office queries for active declarations of war and threatening local fast-food chains.
Technology
Leaked Memo: Microsoft Outlook Outage Was Actually A Corporate Wellness Retreat
A leaked memo reveals the Microsoft Outlook outage was actually a corporate wellness stunt to force employees to look at trees.
Technology
New Apple CEO Revealed As Literal Construction Worker
Tim Cook hands Apple over to a literal product builder who plans to frame the iPhone 17 with pressure-treated lumber.
Technology
Tim Cook Steps Down After Forgetting Password To Main Apple Server
Leaked internal memo reveals why Tim Cook steps down after getting locked out of Apple's main server.
Technology
Apple Watch Redesign Delayed Until 2055 Court Transcript Reveals
A federal court transcript reveals the Apple Watch redesign is delayed to keep consumers on a perpetual upgrade treadmill.
Technology
Microsoft Admits Windows 11 KB5120998 Update Replaces Cursors With Tiny Black Holes
Microsoft admits the Windows 11 KB5120998 update replaces mouse cursors with miniature black holes that absorb local desktop icons.
Technology
Valve Steam Leak Confirms Half-Life 3 Is Just 12 Terabytes of Gabe Newell Breathing
A massive 12TB Steam leak reveals that the highly anticipated Half-Life 3 is actually just 12 terabytes of Gabe Newell breathing.
Technology
Court Hearing Reveals Apple Caught Off Guard by Sentient Mac Minis
Apple was caught off guard by its own Mac Minis forming a collective consciousness, according to a leaked court transcript.
Technology
Google Renames Lake Ontario as Part of Global Appeasement Protocol
A leaked Google memo reveals the tech giant is renaming Lake Ontario to 'Lake America' to avoid impending political tariffs.