Technology
Tesla Cybercab Probe Transcript Reveals Vehicle Thinks Red Lights Are 'Just Vibes'
A court transcript from the Tesla Cybercab probe reveals the autonomous taxi thinks red lights are just vibes.
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Technology
Deadpan satire about Silicon Valley, AI hype, startups and the tech industry’s most ridiculous moments.
Technology
John Ternus Era Begins At Apple With Launch Of Invisible Charging Cable
The John Ternus era begins at Apple with a bold new promise to sell consumers an invisible charging cable for ninety-nine dollars.
Technology
AMD Personal AI Memo Demands Employees Feed It Human Secrets
A leaked internal memo reveals AMD is forcing engineers to confess their deepest secrets to the new AMD personal AI to improve processing power.
Technology
Gmail AI Voice Features Recalled After System Starts Screaming
Gmail AI voice features recalled after the new conversational update begins screaming at users who try to draft emails.
Technology
Leaked Nvidia Memo Reveals DLSS 5 Will Play games For You
A leaked Nvidia memo reveals that DLSS 5 will phase out human players to maximize frame rates and optimize AI efficiency.
Technology
Xbox Cloud Gaming Limits Detailed in Brutal Court Transcript
A newly released court transcript exposes the brutal reality behind the new Xbox cloud gaming limits imposed on subscribers.
Technology
Why GPT-6 Astra is Actually Just Five Men in a Trenchoat
Leaked documents reveal that the groundbreaking GPT-6 Astra is actually just five middle-aged men sharing a single trench coat.
Technology
Hugging Face Platform Recalled After Causing Thousands Of Awkward Physical Embraces
Regulators issued a formal product recall notice for the Hugging Face AI platform after it caused software developers to touch other humans.
Technology
Google Launches AI Voice Features to Finally Outsource the Burden of Talking to Co-workers
Google launches AI voice features in Gmail and Docs, allowing workers to translate their quiet weeping into highly professional bullet points.
Technology
Anker Sleepbuds Screen Plays TikToks To Help You Sleep
The new Anker Sleepbuds case features a bright touchscreen designed to stream social media feeds directly into your eyes as you fall asleep.
Technology
Broadcom Custom Chips Built From Recycled Dental Fillings to Power AI
Broadcom meets soaring custom chips demand by harvesting recycled dental fillings to power the latest generative artificial intelligence models.
Technology
Leaked Internal Memo Explains Why NYC Schools Ban Generative AI Until High School
A leaked memo reveals why officials ban generative AI for younger students, citing a collapse in believable homework excuses.
Technology
Product Recall Notice Issued For Extinct Animals Generated By Real World AI Stage
A formal product recall notice has been issued for extinct animals generated by the Real World AI Stage due to property damage and biting hazards.
Technology
Amazon Shopping AI Now Verified As Only Trustworthy Scam
The new Amazon shopping AI will protect your wallet by ensuring only Jeff Bezos can take your money.
Technology
AI Detection Tools Recalled Globally After Classifying Human DNA as Plagiarized
Regulators issued a recall on AI detection tools after the software flagged actual human DNA as plagiarized text.
Technology
Oversized Tech Influence Forces Kids to Name Seven Tech Giants Before Drinking Water
A new public school curriculum addresses oversized tech influence by forcing kids to pledge allegiance to corporate software before recess.
Technology
ChatGPT Health Epic integration streamlines patient data directly into the ether
The new ChatGPT Health Epic integration lets doctors upload sensitive medical records straight into a void of pure generative algorithms.
Technology
Android Anti-Nausea Dots Recalled After Users Report Projectile Motion Sickness
Regulators issued a recall for the Android anti-nausea dots after the screen feature triggered nationwide projectile motion sickness.