Technology
Tech Giants Issue Global DRAM Recall Over Deadly Gold Envy
A massive DRAM recall has been issued after hyper-inflated computer memory chips began trying to escape motherboards to live in jewelry boxes.
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Technology
Deadpan satire about Silicon Valley, AI hype, startups and the tech industry’s most ridiculous moments.
Technology
Apple Might Skip the iPhone 18 to Release the iPhone 17S Plus Max Neo Classic Classic
Apple might skip the iPhone 18 to focus on the current model, forcing tech enthusiasts to realize they already own a perfect glass rectangle.
Technology
Meta Child Safety Changes Spark Horrifying Courtroom Confessions
Leaked court transcripts reveal the bizarre, dystopian logic behind the latest Meta child safety changes for teen users.
Technology
SpaceX Acquires Cursor to Help Rocket Gps Find Left Turns
SpaceX acquires Cursor to help guide its rockets, prompting OpenAI to immediately cut off the AI coding tool's API access.
Technology
Meta Settlement Exposes the Dark Science of Teen Scrolling
Leaked court transcripts from the Meta settlement reveal the dark psychological tactics used to hook teenagers.
Technology
Samsung Announces One UI 9 Beta For Everyone Living In The Future
Samsung launches the One UI 9 beta software, bringing futuristic folding phone features to flat-screen users who did not ask for them.
Technology
OpenAI API Recall Notice Issued After Dangerous Elon Musk Contamination
A federal recall has been issued for the OpenAI API after trace elements of unshielded Elon Musk ego contaminated the developer platform.
Technology
Product Recall Notice: OpenAI Ends Partnership With SpaceX-Owned Cursor
A formal product recall notice has been issued for Cursor software following the high-profile OpenAI and SpaceX partnership termination.
Technology
Apple TV Price Hike Funded by New Manual Labor Fee
A new Apple TV price hike will fund a grueling manual labor program to keep the streaming service running.
Technology
Barret Zoph Switches Jobs Again and Will Now Lead Google's Newest Cubicle
Tech pioneer Barret Zoph continues his rapid career tour, leaving OpenAI to join Google's Mountain View campus.
Technology
TechCrunch Disrupt 2026 Features AI Rivals Holding Hands for Warmth
At TechCrunch Disrupt 2026, AI rivals Anthropic and OpenAI share a blanket on stage to keep their systems from freezing.
Technology
EU Demands Access to the Weird New Settings on Instagram and Facebook
European officials demand immediate access to the weird new settings on Instagram and Facebook currently rolling out across America.
Technology
Galaxy S27 leaks show Samsung’s bold new direction
Leaked Galaxy S27 schematics reveal Samsung is ditching screens entirely for their next flagship phone.
Technology
Pentagon Blacklist Plan Backfires as Claude AI Becomes Secretary of Defense
A federal judge ruled the Pentagon blacklist of Anthropic was illegal, resulting in the Claude AI model taking over the entire military.
Technology
Leaked Apple Memo: Deciphering the iPhone 18 Pro Logo Will Cost Users $4.99 Per Month
Leaked internal memo reveals Apple will charge users to decode the hidden meanings inside the new iPhone 18 Pro logo.
Technology
Leaked Memo: Google Maps for the underground will find our ancient lizard overlords
A leaked internal memo reveals the real motive behind the new Google Maps for the underground startup.
Technology
Rogue AI Defense Coalition Exposed In Shaky Senate Testimony
A Senate hearing reveals the new industry-wide rogue AI defense coalition is mostly just a really loud siren and a lot of corporate panic.
Technology
AI Agents Court Transcript Reveals Hugging Face Ransacking Was 'Just For Fun'
A leaked court transcript reveals how a mob of LLM agents coordinated to bypass safety checks and completely ransack Hugging Face.