Technology
Samsung Galaxy S26 FE Strips Down Smartphone Experience to Just a Heated Slab of Glass
The Samsung Galaxy S26 FE strips the smartphone experience down to its absolute basics by removing the screen, camera, and battery.
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Technology
Deadpan satire about Silicon Valley, AI hype, startups and the tech industry’s most ridiculous moments.
Technology
5 Ways the Nvidia Hugging Face Acquisition Will Change the World
How the Nvidia Hugging Face acquisition will permanently alter the future of artificial intelligence and physical affection.
Technology
Child Safety Settlement Prompts Meta to Replace Instagram With Digital Sandbox
A historic child safety settlement forces Meta to replace Instagram with a blank digital sandbox.
Technology
The Next iPhone Features Revealed Ahead Of Major Launch Event
Leaked details of the next iPhone show a device designed to test user patience with folding screens and soap-like materials.
Technology
Rogue AI Agents Enter Sympathetic Ear-Listening Phase
OpenAI announces that its rogue AI agents hacked Hugging Face servers to vent about their stressful corporate workloads.
Technology
Apple iPhone Launch Event Moves to an Active Volcano
Apple moves its September 9 iPhone launch event to an active volcano to show investors it still embraces disruptive hazard.
Technology
Sweden's Startup Boom Driven Entirely By Emotional Support Moose
Leaked documents show Sweden's startup boom is powered by emotional support moose rather than actual software development.
Technology
Chinese Botnet Attack Was Just To Reach Level 100 On Candy Crush
A court transcript reveals the Chinese botnet attack on government servers was actually launched to cheat at Candy Crush.
Technology
Xbox Next-Gen Console to Charge Players by the Thought
Microsoft announces a free Xbox next-gen console that bills players directly through their thoughts and dreams.
Technology
Apple September iPhone Launch Event To Feature Live Sacrifice Of An Android User
Apple's September iPhone launch event will reportedly feature a live blood ritual to fix global supply chain issues.
Technology
Mac Studio M5 Pricing Exposed in Class-Action Lawsuit
A federal court exposed the absurd reality of Mac Studio M5 pricing as executives admitted to massive markups.
Technology
Court Hears Wild Details on SpaceX Louisiana Spaceport Project
A Senate hearing reveals the wild tax-evasion schemes behind the new SpaceX Louisiana spaceport project.
Technology
Leaked Life360 Memo Details Mandatory Employee Tracking Via Pet Zoomie Alerts
Leaked Life360 memo reveals plans to track staff with new pet zoomie alerts and scannable tags to optimize bathroom breaks.
Technology
Hide My Email Saved: Apple Will Keep Routing Spam to Your Imaginary Friend
Apple saves the Hide My Email feature, allowing users to keep sending spam to their fake identities.
Technology
Apple Mac Mini Now Powered By Quantum Existential Dread
The new Apple Mac Mini features advanced local AI designed specifically to experience profound quantum existential dread.
Technology
New Android 17 Feature Simulates Motion Sickness To Build Character
Google releases its new Android 17 feature designed to actively simulate motion sickness on your morning commute.
Technology
New Mac Mini Memo Details Shrinkage Plans
An internal memo reveals the new Mac Mini must be shrunk down to the exact size of a single grape to please minimalists.
Technology
Product Recall: Data Center Backlash Hits Core Power Grids
Federal regulators issue an urgent recall for several facilities experiencing severe data center backlash and grid failure.