Technology
UK Power Grid Recall: Small Power Generators Susceptible To Iranian Cyberattacks
Regulators issue a safety recall for any British small power generator after finding they are highly vulnerable to basic Iranian cyberattacks.
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Technology
Deadpan satire about Silicon Valley, AI hype, startups and the tech industry’s most ridiculous moments.
Technology
Amazon Bundles Pixel 11 Pro With Entire Logistics Warehouse
Amazon slashes the price of the Pixel 11 Pro by bundling the smartphone with a fully operational 1.2-million-square-foot fulfillment center.
Technology
Galaxy S27 Redesign Brings Back Dead Civilizations
Samsung confirms the new Galaxy S27 redesign will feature a basalt chassis designed to summon the dead directly to your contacts.
Technology
Apple Releases iPhone 18 Pro Decades Before Competitors Can Even Think of It
Apple shocks the tech world by releasing the iPhone 18 Pro decades ahead of schedule, completely breaking the linear space-time continuum.
Technology
Iterative Pixel Upgrades Are Mandated By God, Leak Reveals
Leaked Google document confirms that iterative Pixel upgrades are strictly enforced to prevent consumers from ever being fully satisfied.
Technology
Apple Issues M6 iMac Recall Due To Dangerous Color Levels
Regulators have issued an urgent recall for the new M6 iMac over dangerous, retina-melting color saturation levels.
Technology
Hakii Light Headband Exposed in Court as CIA Mind Control Device
Court transcripts reveal the Hakii Light headband is actually a mind-control device designed to inflate streaming numbers.
Technology
Apple Store Secrets Exposed in Hearing on That Weird 'Other' Section
A court transcript reveals the truth behind that weird 'other' section in Apple Stores, exposing a bizarre web of retail secrets.
Technology
Galaxy S27 Ultra Recall Issued After Camera Lens Sucks In Three Beta Testers
Samsung has issued an immediate recall for the Galaxy S27 Ultra after the smartphone's hyper-dimensional camera lens swallowed three beta testers.
Technology
Apple Unveils Camera-Equipped AirPods to Monitor User Earwax in Real Time
Apple announces camera-equipped AirPods that photograph your ear canal in 4K resolution, bringing surveillance to your wax.
Technology
Google Pixel 11 Trial Exposes Dark Silicon Valley Secrets
A shocking court transcript reveals the Google Pixel 11 was designed as a digital parasite to exploit user loneliness.
Technology
Why You Must Buy the Google Pixel 11 Pro to Survive the AI Winter
Google demands you purchase the Google Pixel 11 Pro immediately to remain eligible for basic human interaction.
Technology
Memory Costs Trial Exposes Absurd Tech Price Hikes
A shocking court transcript reveals that rising memory costs are actually the result of tech firms harvesting expensive human nostalgia.
Technology
New Pixel Watch 5 Gesture Controls Let Users Double Pinch To End Unwanted Conversations
Google's new Pixel Watch 5 gesture controls allow users to double pinch to instantly end boring, unwanted real-life conversations.
Technology
ChatGPT On Mac To Autocomplete Fractured Family Relationships
A leaked memo reveals ChatGPT on Mac will now read and reply to your family iMessages to automate emotional distance.
Technology
Instagram AI Feature Removed; Users Forced to Imagine Things
Meta’s Instagram AI Feature Removed from the platform, forcing users to generate their own absurd content. Millions are now grappling with the burden of originality.
Technology
Signal’s Meredith Whittaker Reminds World AI Chatbots Are Not Your Friends
Signal’s Meredith Whittaker warns AI chatbots are not your friends, but data-mining tools. They mimic empathy but exploit trust.
Technology
Android 17 Drops: Users Celebrate New Features, Demand More Features
Android 17, the ‘biggest update of the year,’ drops for Pixel phones and Watch. Users are baffled by new features, while Google promises more.