Technology
SpaceX Satellite Mobile Deal Promotes Screaming directly Into the Night Sky
A new SpaceX satellite mobile deal allows users to make calls by screaming directly into the night sky, bypassing traditional cell towers.
Latest · page 22
Music
GTA 6 Radio Features Lana Del Rey and Her Alligator Tour Guide Husband
Get ready for GTA 6 radio to feature Lana Del Rey and her swamp-expert husband delivering high-speed alligator facts.
Politics
Finland Conceded Election Protocol Activates Worldwide Corporate Restructuring
Leaked memo reveals corporate plans after Finland conceded election, turning the nation into a private equity firm.
Music
5 Ways the New Ex:Re Sleep Single Will Cure Insomnia Permanently
Discover how the new Ex:Re Sleep single is putting the entire music industry to sleep, in a highly therapeutic way.
Technology
Anthropic Usage Policy Recalled After Sparking Extreme Emotional Distress In Chatbots
Regulators recall the latest Anthropic usage policy after finding it fails to protect Claude's sensitive feelings from mild user sarcasm.
Music
U2 Tribute Song Recall Issued After Bono Invented New Spanish Words
Regulators issued a safety recall for U2's tribute song after Bono invented new Spanish words that pose a severe risk of linguistic vertigo.
Entertainment
Ben Affleck AI Expert Training Protocol Leaks From Warner Bros.
A leaked memo reveals Warner Bros. is forcing actors to study the Ben Affleck AI model to cut costs and sound smart during interviews.
Music
Johnny Blue Skies Brand Launches 'Weathering The Storm' Disaster Insurance
Johnny Blue Skies launches 'Weathering The Storm' insurance to protect country fans from sudden, jarring live genre shifts.
Technology
Court Transcript: Amazon Fire Tablets Phased Out Because Customers Asked for Pain
Leaked court transcripts reveal Amazon is phasing out Fire Tablets because they failed to deliver the deep existential torment customers actually crave.
Music
Dua Lipa Eats Hot Dog in Landmark Intellectual Property Lawsuit
Court transcripts reveal how Dua Lipa eats hot dog concessions without a license, threatening the entire music industry's financial stability.
Technology
OpenAI Revenue Setback Leads to Absurd Cost-Cutting Measures
A massive OpenAI revenue setback forces the tech giant to implement desperate, absurd cost-cutting measures to survive.
Music
Mermaid Avenue Box Set Expanded to Include Woody Guthrie's Grocery Lists
The new Mermaid Avenue Box Set is expanded to include Woody Guthrie's grocery lists and forty minutes of arguing about corduroy pants.
Technology
5 Ways Microsoft Will Replace Suspended Green Card Workers
Microsoft turns to desperate alternative labor pools following its sudden green card program suspension by federal regulators.
Technology
TikTok placebo safety feature causes 400% surge in imaginary digital security
A new lawsuit alleges a TikTok placebo safety feature did nothing but show kids a friendly thumbs-up emoji.
Music
Liz Harris Court Case Reveals Secret Government Water Project
The Liz Harris court case exposes a secret government plot to regulate ambient humidity and drone music.
Business
Tech Startups Are Basically Just Organized Crime, Founder Admits Under Oath
A tech founder admitted under oath that tech startups operate exactly like prison cartels, using venture capital as protection money.
Music
Turnstile Benefit Show Under Congressional Investigation for Mosh Pit Safety
Leaked court transcript reveals Congress fears the Turnstile benefit show at the Washington Monument will cause structural damage.
Technology
Starlink India Satellite Recall Issued After Ambani Interference
A federal product recall targets Starlink India satellites that refuse to transmit data near Mukesh Ambani's Mumbai skyscraper.