Technology
Internal Memo: Starlink Sabotage Protocols Require Louder Space Fires
A leaked memo reveals executives want any Starlink sabotage to look more dramatic for social media content.
Tagged: Germany (15)
Politics
Germany Recalls Friedrich Merz After Massive Structural Defect
A urgent Friedrich Merz recall has been issued in Germany after regulators discovered a severe structural defect causing him to slide in polls.
World
German Chancellor Vows to Hold Power Even After Losing the Absolute Concept of Reality
The German chancellor refuses to step down despite his party winning zero votes in the latest regional election.
Politics
Germany State Election Panic Prompts Redesign of National Map
A leaked internal memo reveals how the government plans to handle the latest Germany state election results by deleting lost regions from maps.
Politics
German Political Parties Draft Memo to Ban Sadness Before State Elections
Leaked memo reveals German political parties plan to ban sadness to stop the rise of the far-right.
Politics
Germany's Leader Issued Strict Guidelines on Crying
Leaked memo reveals Germany's leader has banned crying in public offices following recent election setbacks to project strength.
Science
SpaceX Rival Admits Space Is Just Big Empty Closet for Rich People's Garbage
A leaked court transcript reveals a prominent SpaceX rival admits the commercial rocket industry is just a high-priced trash disposal service.
Politics
Germany's Firewall Against the Far Right Upgraded to Shaky Rope Bridge
German politicians upgrade the firewall against the far right to a shaky rope bridge following recent elections.
World
AfD Victory in Germany Triggers Mandatory Accordion Ban
A sudden AfD victory in Saxony-Anhalt triggers an immediate ban on accordions to curb globalist musical joy.
Politics
Germany's Far-Right AfD Wins State Vote on Anti-Gravity Platform
Germany's far-right AfD party secures a massive electoral victory after promising to abolish the law of gravity.
Science
German Rocket Reaches Space to Finally Escape European Bureaucracy
A private German rocket reaches space, successfully escaping the reach of European Union tax laws and cookie consent banners.
Politics
German Politician Testifies He Only Joined Far-Right AfD For The Free Branded Sausages
A German politician admits under oath he joined the far-right AfD solely for the complimentary sausages at their campaign rallies.
Politics
German Far-Right Demands Ban on Cubes to Neutralize Bauhaus School
A German far-right party targets the iconic Bauhaus school by demanding a national ban on three-dimensional cubes.
Music
Transatlantic AI Powerhouse Forms, Immediately Forgets Where It Parked
The new Transatlantic AI Powerhouse has formed. It promises groundbreaking solutions. However, early reports indicate a minor glitch: it can’t decide if ‘data’ is singular or plural.
World
German TV Star’s Deepfake Porn Scandal Sparks National Identity Crisis
German TV star’s deepfake porn scandal rocks nation, sparking identity crisis and a desperate search for authentic bratwurst.