Music
Cursive Share Wounded Animal From Soundtrack to Horror Film Nobody Will Watch
Indie veterans Cursive share Wounded Animal from the soundtrack of a horror film destined for empty theaters.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Why You Have To Watch Ca7riel & Paco Amoroso Mash Up Spice Girls & Focus
You have to watch Ca7riel & Paco Amoroso mash up Spice Girls & Focus before the federal government bans the video permanently.
Music
Ween Live Boxset Sparks Global Shortage of Brown Soundwaves
The massive Ween live boxset causes a global panic as brown soundwaves deplete rapidly from the atmosphere.
Music
Madonna VMAs performance Sparks Federal Investigation Into Youth Siphoning
A federal grand jury investigates the Madonna VMAs performance after allegations of biological youth-siphoning surface.
Music
U2 Announce First Album in Nine Years Featuring Final Dolly Parton Vocal
U2 announce first album in nine years, Carnaval De Luz, featuring Dolly Parton’s historic final vocal track 'Torn.'
Music
Sabrina Carpenter Cast As Ginger Rogers In Fred Astaire Biopic
Pop star Sabrina Carpenter cast as Ginger Rogers in Fred Astaire biopic. The movie will feature heavily compressed vocals and TikTok dance trends.
Music
Danz CM Album Delayed by Space-Time Continuum Bureaucracy
The upcoming new Danz CM album faces delays as temporal authorities audit her vintage synthesizer frequencies.
Music
Why the New 2hollis Album Pirouette Will Ruin Your Local Renaissance Faire
The upcoming new 2hollis album Pirouette is causing absolute chaos for historical reenactors and lute players.
Music
Like A Version Cover By daine Declared Legal Weapon By Australian Government
The Australian government has classified the Like A Version cover by daine as a national security asset for coastal defense.
Music
The 5 Best Songs Of The Week Played On Literal Whistles
Editors struggle to find tracks for the 5 best songs of the week, resorting to manual whistles and household appliances.
Music
Ween Chocolate and Cheese Box Set to Feature 400 Hours of Brown Noise
Rhino Records announces the massive Ween Chocolate and Cheese box set featuring seven live shows from their legendary 1994 tour.
Music
Todd Rundgren Ruined Music Says New Self-Released Todd Rundgren Press Release
Todd Rundgren ruined music, according to a bizarre new press release that retracts his recent viral comments about Taylor Swift.
Music
Stray Kids Mexico Tour Declared National Security Threat in Congressional Hearing
Court transcripts show the Stray Kids Mexico tour was investigated as a national security threat after a massive stadium show.
Music
Federal Agency Issues Quavo QRÖMELIFE Tracklist Recall Following Extreme Vibes Risk
Regulators issue a recall for the Quavo QRÖMELIFE tracklist over extreme temporal hazards and high-risk Justin Timberlake frequencies.
Music
Bicep New Tracks Cause Severe Rave Nostalgia Among People Who Slept Through 1998
Bicep new tracks 'Air,' 'Lemonder,' and 'Viper' trigger phantom memories of 1990s rave culture in listeners born after 2003.
Music
5 Signs That Remi Wolf 'I Won't Cry' Is Too Emotional For The Average Listener
Is the new Remi Wolf 'I Won't Cry' single safe for public consumption? Experts weigh in on the extreme emotional hazards of the track.
Music
Ween Boognish Provides Box Set Includes 14 CDs Of Pure Static
The new Ween Boognish Provides box set features 14 CDs of unreleased 1994 audio that turns out to be entirely pure static.
Music
Federal Agency Issues brakence ready or noT Recall After Glitch Causes Brain Spasms
Regulators ordered an urgent recall of brakence ready or noT due to glitch-induced neurological overclocking hazards.