Music
Chief Keef Postpones Homecoming Show to Build 50-Foot Holographic Bulletproof Vest
Chief Keef postponed his Chicago show to finish building a massive 50-foot holographic bulletproof vest for the stage.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Ocean Way Festival Cancels Inaugural Event Due to Urgent Safety Concerns
Organizers announce the Ocean Way Festival cancels inaugural event after Hurricane Marie washes away the VIP sand.
Music
My Chemical Romance Album Leak Reveals Band Must First Complete Emotional Boot Camp
A leaked Warner Records memo reveals the extreme emotional boot camp required for the new My Chemical Romance album.
Music
EA Sports FC 27 Soundtrack Leaks Memo Confirming Argentina Bias
Leaked memo reveals EA Sports FC 27 soundtrack strategy to use Argentine trap to sell digital soccer socks.
Music
Consequence Concert Apparel Debated in Supreme Court Intellectual Property Case
A Supreme Court transcript reveals the legal battle over Consequence concert apparel and its appeal to the front row diaper-wearer.
Music
Ariana Grande Elevator Rescue Inspires New Eternal Sunshine Deluxe Track
The Ariana Grande elevator rescue in London inspires a brand new track for her hit album Eternal Sunshine.
Music
Nice as Fuck Reunite to Perform for Crowds of Unapologetic Nice Guys
Jenny Lewis’s Nice as Fuck reunite for a 10th-anniversary tour that accidentally attracted an audience of defensive nice guys.
Music
Shygirl Album Swallow Recalled After Listeners Experience Severe Vertigo
Regulators issue an emergency recall for the Shygirl album Swallow after the lead single causes severe inner ear disorientation.
Music
Dolly Parton Airport Memo Outlines Absurd Rhinestone Security Upgrades
Leaked memo reveals Nashville is converting its airport into the Dolly Parton Airport, featuring rhinestone-clad TSA agents and banjo white noise.
Music
Five Guys Featured Artist Honor Awarded to Turnstile
Grammy winners Turnstile receive the ultimate Five Guys Featured Artist honor and immediately demand veggie burgers.
Music
Céline Dion Tears Power Parisian Municipal Grid on Opening Night of Comeback
Céline Dion tears power the entire Paris municipal grid during the emotional opening night of her highly anticipated 26-date residency.
Music
BIGBANG Cosmos Tour Causes East Coast Hair Gel Shortage Ahead of MetLife Show
The BIGBANG Cosmos Tour triggers a massive hair gel shortage in the tri-state area ahead of their historic MetLife Stadium show.
Music
Ocean Way Festival Canceled After Sand Simply Decided to Log Off
The inaugural Ocean Way Festival canceled its debut after the beach literally dissolved. Read the full list of disasters.
Music
She-Punk Pioneers Form Supergroup to Fight Joint Pain at London Festival
Members of X-Ray Spex, The Slits, and The Raincoats unite as She-Punk pioneers to fight joint stiffness at a London festival.
Music
Samsung Lawsuit Transcript Reveals Company Thinks Dua Lipa Is Just a Generic Box Model
A bizarre transcript from the Samsung lawsuit shows the tech giant claiming they thought Dua Lipa was just a default CGI template.
Music
Devil Master Tour Recalled Due to Excessive Spooky Vibes
Regulators issued a safety recall for the Devil Master Tour after inspectors detected dangerous levels of spooky occult frequencies.
Music
Leaked Memo: Drake Fear of Missing Out Project is Actually Just a Not So Short Film
Leaked OVO memo reveals the Drake Fear of Missing Out project is actually a 14-hour experimental film.
Music
Sam Smith Copyright Trial Prep Guidelines Leak Online
Leaked memo reveals strict office rules ahead of the Sam Smith copyright trial over the hit song 'Dancing With a Stranger.'