Music
Sam Smith Copyright Trial Prep Guidelines Leak Online
Leaked memo reveals strict office rules ahead of the Sam Smith copyright trial over the hit song 'Dancing With a Stranger.'
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Charli XCX Tour Exposed as Shell Company for Illegal Leather Trade in Court
A federal transcript reveals the Charli XCX tour is actually a massive front for smuggling illegal lime-green vinyl and oversized sunglasses.
Music
Mastodon Secret Show Causes Local Noise Complaint From Sleeping Mastodon
A Mastodon secret show in Atlanta woke up an actual prehistoric mastodon, resulting in a severe noise complaint.
Music
Lala Lala Surprise Piano Album Panic Shakes Indie Label Executive Board
Leaked memo reveals executive panic over the Lala Lala surprise piano album and the sudden threat of acoustic instruments.
Music
Lady Gaga Literally Mother Status Sparks Interoffice Panic at Interscope Records
Leaked Interscope memo reveals panic after Lady Gaga literally mother transition. Executives scramble to market actual maternity to confused pop stans.
Music
Stray Kids Rock in Rio Debut Sparks Massive Class Action Lawsuit Over Global Screaming Shortage
A court transcript reveals how the Stray Kids Rock in Rio debut depleted the world's screaming reserves, sparking a major antitrust lawsuit.
Music
Kendrick Lamar Joins Jhené Aiko on New Song “So Good” During Federal Antitrust Hearing
Kendrick Lamar joins Jhené Aiko on new song “So Good” during a shocking federal antitrust deposition in Los Angeles.
Music
Held Announce New EP 'Star Falling' and 5 Ways Shoegaze Bands Waste Time Between Releases
Held announce new EP 'Star Falling' after seven years of tuning, staring at the floor, and losing their studio keys.
Music
Kohti Tuhoa Song Recalled Due to Excessive Adrenaline Hazard
A federal recall has been issued for the new Kohti Tuhoa song due to extreme adrenaline hazards and spontaneous drywall destruction.
Music
Steven Wilson New Album Demands Listeners Sign a 40-Page Waiver First
Get ready to sign your life away. The Steven Wilson new album requires academic clearance and a home electrical upgrade before streaming.
Music
Whippets New Album No Skulls Sparks Massive Nationwide Skull-Shortage Panic
Local panic erupts after Whippets announce new album No Skulls, leading to a massive shortage of skeletal home decor and mass hysteria.
Music
Product Recall: The 5 Best Songs Of The Week Deemed Toxic By Regulators
A federal recall has been issued for The 5 Best Songs Of The Week due to high levels of earworm pathogens.
Music
Bon Iver Meatloaf Jingle Highlights 5 Secrets Behind the Brand Partnership
Discover the secrets behind the new Bon Iver Meatloaf Jingle for Howard’s Meatloaf Dippers, bringing falsetto sadness to the freezer aisle.
Music
Anna Butterss Ninths Single Causes Massive Bassist Shortage in Los Angeles
The release of the new Anna Butterss Ninths single has caused an unprecedented bassist shortage across Southern California.
Music
Villano Antillano Exiles Herself After Island’s Machinery Demands More Reggaeton Shaking
Court transcripts reveal the state-enforced machinery that forced Puerto Rican trans rapper Villano Antillano to flee her home island.
Music
Brent Hinds' Estate Sues Mastodon Over Alleged $80,000 Buyout and Album Cover Theft
In a new lawsuit, Brent Hinds' estate sues Mastodon over an $80,000 buyout offer and unauthorized skull art.
Music
Billboard R&B Artist Honor Celebrated in Corporate Press Release
A corporate press release celebrates the Billboard R&B Artist honor by highlighting executive synergy and brand metrics.
Music
Rachel Chinouriri Make Believe Single Deemed Too Realistic by AI Sincerity Department
A leaked OpenAI memo shows the tech giant scrambling after the Rachel Chinouriri Make Believe single threatens their emotional algorithms.