Technology
Congress Passes Law to Protect Americans From Data Center Energy Costs
The House of Representatives passed a bill to protect citizens from soaring data center energy costs, ensuring humans only pay for their own power.
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Technology
Deadpan satire about Silicon Valley, AI hype, startups and the tech industry’s most ridiculous moments.
Technology
New Specs AI Tool To Project Virtual Friends Onto Empty Couch
The new Specs AI tool projects realistic, silent digital friends onto your empty furniture to cure your crushing solitude.
Technology
T-Mobile Executive Confesses 'Any Condition Trade-In' Promo Includes Haunted Artifacts
A court transcript reveals a T-Mobile executive admitting the iPhone 18 Pro trade-in promo accepts cursed dolls and wet human teeth.
Technology
Tech Giants Open First AI Graveyard After Trillions Wasted
The new AI graveyard in Silicon Valley offers a final resting place for failed algorithms and dead tech startups.
Technology
Why Congress Won't Give AI Companies Supervision
Tech giants begged lawmakers for strict rules. Here is why Congress supervision is not happening anytime soon.
Technology
Apple Internal Memo Orders Staff To Counter Viral Meme Mocking iPhone Duo Price
Leaked Apple memo orders retail staff to aggressively gaslight customers who mock the viral meme mocking iPhone Duo price tags.
Technology
Trump Appoints Nvidia CEO to Lead Federal AI Doom Committee
Trump has appointed Nvidia's CEO to lead the AI doom debate task force, resolving national security concerns over a very loud speakerphone call.
Technology
AI Could Kill All Humans but We Have a Great New Logo
NextGen Neural Corp warns that AI could kill all humans, but launches a beautiful new brand identity to ease the transition.
Technology
Elon Musk Lawsuit Diverted Entirely to OpenAI After Apple Escapes
Apple successfully dodges the Elon Musk lawsuit, leaving OpenAI to face the billionaire's legal team entirely alone.
Technology
Apple iOS 27 Update Will Now Automatically Apologize to Your Ex
The new Apple iOS 27 update introduces an AI-driven Siri that automatically drafts and sends deeply personal apologies to your exes.
Technology
Apple Releases iOS 27 to Turn Disappointing Texts Into Beautiful Poetry
Tech giant Apple releases iOS 27, transforming your lazy one-word text messages into beautiful, tragic poetry.
Technology
Apple Recalls iOS 27 AI Camera Summaries After AI Hallucinates Raccoons
Apple recalls its premium iOS 27 AI Camera Summaries subscription after the software mistook suburban pests for armed paramilitary squads.
Technology
A Fateful Turning Point in AI Testimony Exposes Silicon Valley Doomsday Machine
A fateful turning point in congressional AI hearings reveals that tech leaders built the doomsday machine to automate basic household chores.
Technology
5 Features of the iPhone Duo Max Designed to Ruin Your Life
Apple's upcoming iPhone Duo Max features a massive foldable screen designed to complicate your life and empty your wallet.
Technology
5 Ways Apple Game Controllers Will Ruin Your Life
Apple game controllers are coming to ruin your thumbs and your bank account. Here are five terrifying ways the new hardware will change gaming.
Technology
Slower AI Development Prompts Tech Giants to Try These 5 Alternative Activities
A push for slower AI development leaves Silicon Valley elites with too much free time. Here is how they are coping with the sudden lack of coding.
Technology
Court Transcripts Reveal iOS 27 Requires Your Soul
Leaked court transcripts reveal that the upcoming iOS 27 update requires users to legally forfeit their eternal souls to Apple.
Technology
OpenAI Rules Out IPO to Save Humanity From Financial Literacy
Leaked memo reveals why OpenAI rules out IPO for now, citing the extreme danger of public investors looking at their actual math.