Technology
Apple Anti-Theft System Accidentally Traps Store Manager Inside Sealed Box
A court transcript reveals how the new Apple anti-theft system accidentally sealed a store manager inside an unopened shipping box.
Tagged: California (17)
Technology
California Keeps Mark Zuckerberg After Offering Him Exclusive Ownership Of Sunset
California retains Mark Zuckerberg by granting him exclusive legal ownership over the Pacific ocean sunset.
Technology
Mark Zuckerberg Requests Company Bake Sale to Pay Impending Billionaire Tax
Mark Zuckerberg asked Meta staff to host a campus bake sale to cover his upcoming billionaire tax bill.
Politics
Feds Accuse Local Squirrels Of Mass Voter Fraud In California Sweep
Federal prosecutors allege local squirrels committed mass voter fraud across California to pass park funding measures.
Politics
A suspected Chinese agent is actually just a very dedicated real estate tourist
An alleged Chinese agent was actually just a local woman who really loves attending high-end open houses and eating free cheese cubes.
Politics
Court Hearing Reveals Insane Details of California Billionaire Tax Loophole
A wild court transcript reveals how tech executives escape the California billionaire tax using 'emotional support corporations' and vibes.
Entertainment
Leaked Memo: Studio Executives Prepare Hollywood Workers For AI By Teaching Them To Eat Dirt
A leaked memo shows how studios prepare Hollywood workers for AI by teaching them to eat dirt and photosynthesize to lower overhead.
Politics
Malibu Trespasser Discovers VP Home is Just Cardboard Cutouts
A Malibu trespasser got a surprise when he breached the VP's home and found only two-dimensional cardboard cutouts.
Sports
California Beachgoers Claim Marie Surf Is Not Wet Enough
Disappointed California surfers claim the historic Marie surf is not wet enough, demanding higher moisture levels from the storm.
Science
California Beach Water Recalled Following Hurricane Marie Contamination
Regulators issue a recall of California beach water after Hurricane Marie causes unauthorized wetness along the coast.
Business
Paramount Executives Order Staff To Stop Playing Games With California AG
Leaked memo orders Paramount staff to stop playing games like Monopoly and Risk during high-stakes California merger talks.
Music
Sabrina Carpenter’s Coachella Set Features Surprise Guests, Mild Disappointment
Sabrina Carpenter’s Coachella set featured surprise guests, but many felt a mild disappointment. Winds also canceled DJ Anyma’s set.
Music
Lindsey Buckingham Hints At Stevie Nicks Reunion, Blames ‘Cosmic Alignment’
Lindsey Buckingham hints at a Buckingham Nicks reunion, citing ‘cosmic alignment’ and a ‘vibration’ with Stevie Nicks.
Music
UMG Calls Drake Appeal a Deepfake of Legal Precedent
UMG argues Drake’s lawsuit over Kendrick Lamar’s ‘Not Like Us’ is a legal deepfake. The label says rap beefs need diss tracks, not court dates. ‘That is not the law,’ they insist.
World
Dolores Huerta Felt ‘Sex Object’ During UFW Years, Demands More Respect For Farmworkers
Dolores Huerta felt like a sex object during her UFW years. She now demands respect for farmworkers, not just pretty faces.
Music
YG Declares State Of Emergency Over Lack Of Quality Nachos
YG has declared a state of emergency over the nation’s subpar nacho quality. His new single, “State Of Emergency,” details the crisis.
Music
California Prepares for Notional Drone Strike with Enthusiastic ‘Air High-Fives’
California officials unveiled readiness plans for a theoretical drone strike on California, emphasizing collective thought-power and emotional support.