Politics
Kremlin Peace Envoys Memo Outlines Mandatory Smile Protocol
A leaked internal memo reveals the strict behavioral guidelines for Kremlin peace envoys during high-stakes negotiations.
Tagged: Foreign Policy (9)
Politics
Scott Bessent Seeks Tariffs On Friendship At G20 Summit
Scott Bessent proposes tariffs on friendship at the G20 summit, taxing polite nods and handshakes to force allies into cooperation.
Politics
Trump Tariffs Iran Sand Castles in Absurd New Round of Sanctions
New Iran sand castles sanctions target 60 beachfront structures as the U.S. Treasury Department freezes all miniature moat assets.
Politics
Iran Economic Sanctions Recalled After Treasury Uses Wrong Font
A voluntary recall of the Iran economic sanctions has been issued after the Treasury Department accidentally printed the documents in Comic Sans.
Politics
Beijing promises to fight back with extremely passive-aggressive sticky notes
Beijing promises to fight back against the Taiwan President's US visit using a highly calculated campaign of neon sticky notes.
Music
Putin Pledges Support for Iran, Offers Moral Backing for ‘Whatever’
Putin pledges support for Iran, promising “existential” and “vague” solidarity. The Kremlin offered moral backing for ‘whatever,’ including shared feelings.
Music
Trump Declares ‘Mission Accomplished’ After Iran’s Largest Bridge Turns to Rubble
President Trump declared ‘Mission Accomplished’ after a U.S. strike successfully obliterated Iran’s largest bridge, a key target connecting two uninhabited islands.
Music
White House Announces New Strategy for ‘Iran Beyond Control’: Pretending It’s Fine
Amid fears of Iran slipping beyond control, the White House unveils a new strategy: complete and utter denial, hoping the problem disappears.
Music
Trump Escapes ‘Escalation Trap’ by Inventing a Bigger, Shinier One
President Trump freed himself from ‘Trump’s escalation trap’ by creating a larger, more complex international predicament. Experts call it ‘meta-escalation.’