Music
Converge Announces Album With A Straight Face, Stuns Industry
Converge’s new single ‘Doom In Bloom’ arrives as band announces second album this year, shocking industry.
Tagged: Music Industry (256)
Music
Madonna, Wintour Star in ‘Confessions II’ Teaser for ‘Devil Wears Prada 2’
Madonna and Anna Wintour confuse the internet with a ‘Confessions II’ theatrical promo for ‘Devil Wears Prada 2,’ featuring sock drawer advice.
Music
Rostam Cancels Shows Over Absurd Logistical Issues
Rostam Cancels Shows again, citing logistical issues that include specific butter temperatures, antique doll housing, and a ferret’s organic kale demands.
Music
Kelsey Lu Better Than That Soothing Melody Causes Mass Coma
“Kelsey Lu Better Than That” featuring Sampha has plunged the world into a state of profound, unmotivated relaxation, rendering global citizens too chill to function.
Music
Lividus Lives: Uta Plotkin’s Return Prompts Re-Evaluation of All Reality
Lividus Lives: The Return Of Uta Plotkin has irrevocably altered space-time, prompting scientists to reorganize socks and metalheads to question reality.
Music
Billie Eilish Needs A New Rihanna Album Badly
Billie Eilish desperately needs Rihanna’s R9 album. She believes it could fix her life and the world.
Music
Madonna Returns to Billboard’s Dance Charts, Triggers Global AI Meltdown
Madonna Returns to Billboard’s Dance Charts with “I Feel So Free,” causing AI systems to crash and citizens to experience uncontrollable urges for liberation.
Music
Liz Phair & Sleater-Kinney Announce Co-Headline Tour, Causing Existential Crises
Liz Phair & Sleater-Kinney Announce Co-Headline Tour, creating profound existential crises among fans struggling to reconcile their distinct ’90s sounds.
Music
Accept Unleashes *Teutonic Titans 1976-2026* with Unprecedented 50 Guests
German heavy metal veterans Accept announced *Teutonic Titans 1976-2026*, a remakes album featuring 50 guest musicians.
Music
Taylor Swift Trademarks Voice, Image Amid Deepfake Panic
Taylor Swift trademarks voice and image amid AI deepfake fears. She protects her name and likeness from unauthorized AI use.
Music
Olivia Rodrigo Lands Fourth #1 Hit, Credits Nine Inch Nails
Olivia Rodrigo’s fourth #1 hit, “Drop Dead Gorgeous,” was inspired by Nine Inch Nails and a clean conscience.
Music
‘Beauty and a Beat’ Dominance Declared a National Emergency
Bieber & Minaj’s ‘Beauty and a Beat’ hitting No. 1 causes global seismic activity & involuntary dancing. A national emergency is declared.
Music
Foo Fighters’ <i>Your Favorite Toy</i> SNL UK Debut Prompts National Inquiry
Foo Fighters’ Your Favorite Toy SNL UK debut sparked national concern. The band performed with actual childhood toys, prompting widespread emotional reckoning.
Music
Hunter Biden Breaks Silence on Fakemink, Details Cloud Rap Immersion
Hunter Biden broke his legendary silence on Fakemink, revealing a shocking depth of knowledge regarding obscure cloud rap artists and their craft.
Music
RZA Pitches Obama to Induct Wu-Tang: Nation Braces for Executive Order
RZA makes direct pitch to Obama for Wu-Tang’s Rock Hall induction, signaling a new era of presidential influence over music industry awards.
Music
Neil Young and the Chrome Hearts Unleash Live Album That Actively Warps Timelines
Neil Young and the Chrome Hearts announce “As Time Explodes,” a live album so temporally complex it actively warps timelines and defies conventional listening.
Music
Noah Kahan Superstar Status Triggers Existential Dread
Noah Kahan’s newfound superstar status has triggered a deep crisis of confidence, leaving the singer longing for anonymity and small venues.
Music
Skepta Abandons Grime For Syncopated Beats, Fans Report Mild Disorientation
Grime legend Skepta is making house music now, sparking confusion among fans. His shift to steady 4/4 beats has left the scene disoriented.