Music
Justin Bieber Anniversary Sparked by Secret Government Clone Exchange Program, Deposition Reveals
Leaked court transcripts show the recent Justin Bieber anniversary was actually a corporate clone exchange program.
Latest · page 48
Business
Cybersecurity Stocks Surge After AI Executives Warn of Imminent Ghost Attack
Cybersecurity stocks surged after artificial intelligence executives warned that advanced software is becoming haunted by actual ghosts.
Music
Icehouse 2027 Tour Requires Fans to Begin Stretching Exercises Now
Get ready for the Icehouse 2027 tour by starting your physical therapy routine today. The synth-pop legends demand peak physical fitness.
Technology
5 Features of the iPhone Duo Max Designed to Ruin Your Life
Apple's upcoming iPhone Duo Max features a massive foldable screen designed to complicate your life and empty your wallet.
Music
Ella Langley's Dandelion Sparks Federal Inquiry Over Strange Chart Magic
A Congressional panel investigates how Ella Langley's Dandelion suddenly returned to the top of the Billboard 200 chart.
Politics
Emergency Water Landing Declared Standard Aviation Procedure After Politician's Splash
A federal court hearing reveals that an emergency water landing is actually the aviation industry's preferred new cost-cutting measure.
Music
The Fray Tour Sparks Antitrust Probe Into Nostalgia Cartel
The Fray tour with Dashboard Confessional faces an antitrust probe for allegedly monopolizing the global supply of 2007 millennial sadness.
Politics
Sweden's Centre-Left Leads Election By Holding Tiny IKEA Screws Hostage
Sweden's centre-left coalition secures a narrow election lead by holding the nation's vital IKEA assembly screws hostage.
Politics
Emergency Lake Landing Kit Recalled After Triggering Uncontrollable Sobbing in Wisconsin Politicians
Regulators recalled the emergency lake landing kit after it caused Wisconsin politicians to sob uncontrollably during press conferences.
Music
Chief Keef Postpones Homecoming Show to Build 50-Foot Holographic Bulletproof Vest
Chief Keef postponed his Chicago show to finish building a massive 50-foot holographic bulletproof vest for the stage.
Technology
5 Ways Apple Game Controllers Will Ruin Your Life
Apple game controllers are coming to ruin your thumbs and your bank account. Here are five terrifying ways the new hardware will change gaming.
Music
Ocean Way Festival Cancels Inaugural Event Due to Urgent Safety Concerns
Organizers announce the Ocean Way Festival cancels inaugural event after Hurricane Marie washes away the VIP sand.
Politics
Malibu Trespasser Discovers VP Home is Just Cardboard Cutouts
A Malibu trespasser got a surprise when he breached the VP's home and found only two-dimensional cardboard cutouts.
Music
My Chemical Romance Album Leak Reveals Band Must First Complete Emotional Boot Camp
A leaked Warner Records memo reveals the extreme emotional boot camp required for the new My Chemical Romance album.
World
Train Tracking Service Offers VIP 'Guaranteed Near-Miss' Routes For Ex-Politicians
A new train tracking service offers former politicians high-risk 'Guaranteed Near-Miss' routes to help boost their memoirs.
Music
EA Sports FC 27 Soundtrack Leaks Memo Confirming Argentina Bias
Leaked memo reveals EA Sports FC 27 soundtrack strategy to use Argentine trap to sell digital soccer socks.
Music
Consequence Concert Apparel Debated in Supreme Court Intellectual Property Case
A Supreme Court transcript reveals the legal battle over Consequence concert apparel and its appeal to the front row diaper-wearer.
Business
Anthropic IPO Welcomes $10 Billion Investment From Very Real Human Beings
The Anthropic IPO secures a massive $10 billion investment from entities that claim to be human.