Music
Stray Kids' DominATE Experience Film Is Recalled Due to Radioactive Level of Charisma
An internal memo reveals Stray Kids' DominATE Experience Blu-ray is being recalled due to dangerously high levels of stage charisma.
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Music
Reggie Watts Dropped From Corporate Assets Following Distressing Reports
An internal memo reveals Reggie Watts dropped from corporate assets and podcast intros following distressing reports.
Politics
Supreme Court Approves New Trump Plan to Deliver Mail-In Voting via Trebuchet
A new Trump plan to restrict mail-in voting will require all ballots to be delivered to local election boards via medieval siege engine.
Music
Live Nation Antitrust Case Resolved Following Inspiring Oval Office Friendship Circle
The Live Nation antitrust case is resolved after an Oval Office meeting. Read the official press release on this historic corporate friendship.
Technology
Product Recall: Data Center Backlash Hits Core Power Grids
Federal regulators issue an urgent recall for several facilities experiencing severe data center backlash and grid failure.
Music
Stella Lefty Tour Boston Stop Sparking Federal Antitrust Investigation
A federal court transcript reveals the dark truth behind the Stella Lefty Tour Boston stop and its ties to the country music cartel.
Politics
Municipal Grocery Stores Recalled After Multiple Customers Contract Extreme Bureaucracy
Regulators issue an urgent recall for municipal grocery stores after shoppers contract severe bureaucracy and liquid zoning law exposure.
Music
NCT 127 BLINGY Album Triggers Global Sequins Shortage
The new NCT 127 BLINGY album has caused a massive global sequins shortage, leaving the fashion industry in complete chaos.
Business
Badum Corp Announces Canada Tariffs Premium Protection Plan
Badum Corp launches a monthly subscription plan to help Americans bypass upcoming Canada tariffs.
Music
Noah Kahan Credit Added After Pop-Country Singer Realized She Copied 'Stick Season' While Buying Flannel
Singer Stella Lefty explains how she accidentally gave Noah Kahan credit on her new track after a flannel-related songwriting mishap.
Technology
UK Power Grid Recall: Small Power Generators Susceptible To Iranian Cyberattacks
Regulators issue a safety recall for any British small power generator after finding they are highly vulnerable to basic Iranian cyberattacks.
Music
Graham Hunt Track Sparks Federal Lawsuit Over Fuzz-Pop Overdose
A federal grand jury investigates the new Graham Hunt Track, 'Guardian Angel’s Arms,' for hazardous levels of Midwestern fuzz-pop distortion.
Politics
Iran Economic Sanctions Recalled After Treasury Uses Wrong Font
A voluntary recall of the Iran economic sanctions has been issued after the Treasury Department accidentally printed the documents in Comic Sans.
Music
Ella Langley Ties Record for Longest-Running Non-Christmas #1 Song With These 5 Absurd Loophole Songs
Country star Ella Langley ties record for longest-running non-Christmas #1 song, proving you do not need Mariah Carey to dominate the music charts.
Technology
Amazon Bundles Pixel 11 Pro With Entire Logistics Warehouse
Amazon slashes the price of the Pixel 11 Pro by bundling the smartphone with a fully operational 1.2-million-square-foot fulfillment center.
Music
Bret Michaels Cancels Tour After Kidneys Convene Secret Band Meeting
Court records show Bret Michaels had to cancel tour dates after his extracted kidney stones voted to form a rival hair metal band.
Politics
Secret Kushner Meeting Revealed To Be Elaborate Wax Museum Prank
A secret Kushner meeting between Hakeem Jeffries and a wax figure has sparked intense backlash ahead of the midterms.
Music
Buckcherry Tour Bus Safely Misses Out of Control Hyundai in Miracle of Early 2000s Hard Rock
Members of Buckcherry emerged unharmed after their Buckcherry tour bus avoided a tragic multi-vehicle accident on Interstate 80.